Hello, Dear Humans,
Cyberstalking is not okay. I am not talking about stalking in the colloquial sense of Facebook “stalking”, which can mean that someone just looks at one person’s material often. I mean actual stalking that occurs via cyberspace. Someone does not need to explicitly threaten or even intend harm in order to be stalking a person. Continued unwanted contact, especially with reference to intimate subjects, crosses important personal boundaries. When someone does this it threatens a person’s perception of security and the behavior of that someone may also escalate to real-world contact. Basically, a stalker is unpredictable but will predictably continue to violate your boundaries. This is part of why stalking is a problem even if no actual physical contact or harm has occurred so far, other than the general stress it puts on the target of the stalking. The same goes for not-quite-stalking behavior. Even if the stalker does not realize that they are stalking, they still are. I have some advice for people who suspect that they are targets of stalking or are disquieted by related behaviors. You might not preserve evidence because you do not see anything substantial to have evidence for in the first place. You might just want to erase all signs of the disturbing person from your life. But you do not know if or when they might start up again and, if you ever want or need help emotionally dealing with or taking strong action regarding the situation, you might wish you had more of a record of it. Sometimes the nature of the situation does not become clear until more time has passed. As my mother said, go with your gut. If something feels wrong, pay attention. It is better to be a little extra vigilant than to be left with the feeling that the situation entirely slipped through your fingers. I hope that I will not continue to have to deal with the unpleasant situation currently on my hands, one that I thought was over with a long while ago. I am grateful that one of the staff in my university program asked me what was wrong today and took me seriously.
- Be cautious and keep yourself safe and sound.
- Be considerate and keep others safe and sound by 1) not crossing their boundaries and 2) listening to them and being there for them.
I am sharing this because people do not talk about this problem much.
Best wishes for all,
Silvie Lundgren
P.S. Also, try to not let one person’s creepy behavior keep you from enjoying contact with other people.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Cyberstalking is not okay. I am not talking about stalking in the colloquial sense of Facebook “stalking”, which can mean that someone just looks at one person’s material often. I mean actual stalking that occurs via cyberspace. Someone does not need to explicitly threaten or even intend harm in order to be stalking a person. Continued unwanted contact, especially with reference to intimate subjects, crosses important personal boundaries. When someone does this it threatens a person’s perception of security and the behavior of that someone may also escalate to real-world contact. Basically, a stalker is unpredictable but will predictably continue to violate your boundaries. This is part of why stalking is a problem even if no actual physical contact or harm has occurred so far, other than the general stress it puts on the target of the stalking. The same goes for not-quite-stalking behavior. Even if the stalker does not realize that they are stalking, they still are. I have some advice for people who suspect that they are targets of stalking or are disquieted by related behaviors. You might not preserve evidence because you do not see anything substantial to have evidence for in the first place. You might just want to erase all signs of the disturbing person from your life. But you do not know if or when they might start up again and, if you ever want or need help emotionally dealing with or taking strong action regarding the situation, you might wish you had more of a record of it. Sometimes the nature of the situation does not become clear until more time has passed. As my mother said, go with your gut. If something feels wrong, pay attention. It is better to be a little extra vigilant than to be left with the feeling that the situation entirely slipped through your fingers. I hope that I will not continue to have to deal with the unpleasant situation currently on my hands, one that I thought was over with a long while ago. I am grateful that one of the staff in my university program asked me what was wrong today and took me seriously.
- Be cautious and keep yourself safe and sound.
- Be considerate and keep others safe and sound by 1) not crossing their boundaries and 2) listening to them and being there for them.
I am sharing this because people do not talk about this problem much.
Best wishes for all,
Silvie Lundgren
- LINK TO USEFUL INFORMATION: Stalking [womenshealth.org]
P.S. Also, try to not let one person’s creepy behavior keep you from enjoying contact with other people.
_______________________________________________________________________________
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