Я люблю шум ветра,
люблю метель, кружение снега.
Когда дуют белизна и ясность вокруг,
тогда душа моя взмывает в воздух.
Тогда разум дышит
да ко мне спокойствие приходит.
Как я люблю вой ветра,
люблю музыку безрассудной души мира.

(23-25 января 2019 г.)

Я приехала в Петербург / Учёба за границей

Вот я в Питере,
пролетев через моря,
провожу время в краю мостов,
чтобы через старо-новое окно
взглянуть на обширный мир. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I Came to Petersburg / Study Abroad

Here am I in Piter,
Having flown across the sea
To spend a while in this land of bridges
And, through an old-new window,
This expansive world to see.

(25 января 2019 г.)

Небезопасно!

УВАЖАЕМЫЕ ПАССАЖИРЫ!
ДЕРЖИТЕСЬ ЗА ПОРУЧНИ!
ИНАЧЕ ВЫ ВСЕ УПАДЁТЕ,

И ОБЩЕСТВЕННЫЙ ТРАНСПОРТ
МОЖЕТ СКОРО ПРИВЕЗТИ
К ОБЩЕСТВЕННОЙ СМЕРТИ. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Not Without Danger!

DEAR PASSENGERS,
PLEASE HOLD ON TO THE HANDRAILS,
OR ELSE YOU WILL ALL GO TUMBLING

AND THIS PUBLIC TRANSPORT
MIGHT SOON GREATLY COME
TO RESEMBLE A PUBLIC MORT.

(20 февраля 2019 г.)

(Inspired by the constant announcements made in both Russian and English in many Petersburg buses, trolleybuses and metro cars, and by the occasion of helping a woman on one bus who had lost her balance.)

Я в прошлом семестре написала это стихотворение. Только что пыталась перевести с русского на английский:
_________________________________________

Шутливое стихотворение

Ела я с белкой,
которая ела вилкой
миску щей со сметаной
в лесной комнате уютной.

Спросила я белочку:
— Ты ешь так странно, почему?
И удар получила я по носу.
— Нет ни одной ложки в лесу!


Squirrelly Poem

Ate I with a squirrel
Who was eating with a fork
A bowl of cabbage soup with sour cream
In a cozy woodland room.

Asked I of the little squirrelly,
“Why are you so eating strangely?”
And received I a whack upon the nose.
“Not even one spoon is there in the woods!”

Poetry is Alive and Kicking - Poet Struggles

Three samples of me hypothetically arguing with poems in my head:

- Now would you all just decide how it is you would like to be written?
- Hey, you, could you stop trying to get my attention if you are not going to actually say something? Please do not tease me.
- I did not quite hear you. Could you please repeat that? You forgot what it was already? Well, I am sorry to have missed it.

Над головой висят сосульки - Icicles hang overhead (English below)

Вчера:
Я выхожу на улицу, и кричит женщина : «Девушка, не стойте там! Посмотрите наверх!» Да, я вижу. Над головой висят сосульки.
🚷⚠️🙄🙏

Сегодня:
Выйдя на улицу, я смотрю на крышу на рабочих. Начинает молодой человек махать и улыбаться мне с крыши. Он кажется таким милым и весёлым и поднимает мне настроение.
⛏☺️💓🎶

Yesterday: 

I walk out onto the street and a woman shouts: "Young woman, don't stand there! Look up!" Yes, I see. Icicles are hanging overhead.

🚷⚠️🙄🙏

Today:

Having gone out onto the street, I look up at the workers on the roof. A young man begins to wave and smile at me from the roof. He seems so sweet and cheerful and raises my spirits.

⛏☺️💓🎶

Some cats staying warm and entertained. (Video from the weekend.)

Russian coins are like a mini grammar lesson for your pocket. They are also attracted to magnets, as I found out when one stuck to my laptop.

Cyberstalking is not okay

Hello, Dear Humans,

Cyberstalking is not okay. I am not talking about stalking in the colloquial sense of Facebook “stalking”, which can mean that someone just looks at one person’s material often. I mean actual stalking that occurs via cyberspace. Someone does not need to explicitly threaten or even intend harm in order to be stalking a person. Continued unwanted contact, especially with reference to intimate subjects, crosses important personal boundaries. When someone does this it threatens a person’s perception of security and the behavior of that someone may also escalate to real-world contact. Basically, a stalker is unpredictable but will predictably continue to violate your boundaries. This is part of why stalking is a problem even if no actual physical contact or harm has occurred so far, other than the general stress it puts on the target of the stalking. The same goes for not-quite-stalking behavior. Even if the stalker does not realize that they are stalking, they still are. I have some advice for people who suspect that they are targets of stalking or are disquieted by related behaviors. You might not preserve evidence because you do not see anything substantial to have evidence for in the first place. You might just want to erase all signs of the disturbing person from your life. But you do not know if or when they might start up again and, if you ever want or need help emotionally dealing with or taking strong action regarding the situation, you might wish you had more of a record of it. Sometimes the nature of the situation does not become clear until more time has passed. As my mother said, go with your gut. If something feels wrong, pay attention. It is better to be a little extra vigilant than to be left with the feeling that the situation entirely slipped through your fingers. I hope that I will not continue to have to deal with the unpleasant situation currently on my hands, one that I thought was over with a long while ago. I am grateful that one of the staff in my university program asked me what was wrong today and took me seriously.

- Be cautious and keep yourself safe and sound.
- Be considerate and keep others safe and sound by 1) not crossing their boundaries and 2) listening to them and being there for them.

I am sharing this because people do not talk about this problem much.

Best wishes for all,
Silvie Lundgren

• LINK TO USEFUL INFORMATION:   Stalking [womenshealth.org]

P.S. Also, try to not let one person’s creepy behavior keep you from enjoying contact with other people.
_______________________________________________________________________________

"You need to marry a Russian Jew from Philadelphia."

My Russian host mother (N.G.) told me tonight that I should marry a Russian Jew from Philadelphia (where 20% of the population are Russian Jews!) and then we can eat Russian food and speak Russian while living in America. She also said that this husband should preferably be wealthy so that I can have an easy life and my children will always have something to eat. Honestly, why not? Most of my corner of the world seems to think I should marry a Russian (the people who say this are Israelis, Russians, Americans . . . ). Usually they ask me why I am studying Russian and then suddenly suggest that I will marry a Russian. The other day when N.G. first started talking with me about questions of life and family she said, “First of all, a husband should be kind/good (добрый), second, he should be kind/good, third, he should be kind/good. If he is not, then it will not matter to you whether he is wealthy or good looking.” Before that she had been asking me about who I might consider eligible as a husband and whether he would need to be of a certain religion, nationality or ethnicity. We have been having a hoot here and get along quite well.

Some of the colloquial grammar variants used in this (see image below) are a bit irritating for me but, yes, let's please talk about this! 🎤🎯

And, yes, by many standards I am a 'chameleon'. 🌈 Sometimes that is intentional. Sometimes things simply are not visibly on the surface or people just do not realize what being on the Autism Spectrum can even mean. It is normal for someone's behavior to vary from situation to situation and for them to have more of a struggle with an issue at certain times than at others.

Chances are that many of the quirky, irritating, unusual, charming and/or wonderful things you have noticed about me are related to ASD.** 🦋 🥳 That is not to say that ASD explicitly causes them. Things in life generally are fitted better to a Venn diagram than a pie chart when it comes to categorizing them. Most (if not all!) people have idiosyncrasies of some sort. In a life full of variables having complex, multiple relationships, who is to say what is at the the root of each and every difference? 🔭 Not only are our quirks associated with various factors, but our worth as persons exists neither despite nor simply because of those quirks. 💎

I am an aspie for life (that is, unless our scientific understanding of what that means changes significantly).

** For example: hearing/language processing problems, light and sound sensitivities, much of my general and social anxiety, the fact that there are some culturally accepted social needs that I was shocked to find out that people had, my sometimes abnormal use or interpretation of tone of voice or facial expressions, the fact that those last two items are on this list even though I often exhibit very high emotional intelligence (hmm . . . "on the list" but "included in the list" . . .), my less-than-average propensity for eye contact, my need for high specificity, an apparently odd way of thinking about things, my visual memory, my attention to detail, my sense of flip-side humor, my persistence, the fact that I am so very irked by the fact that the items in (on?) this list do not seem to all fit a parallel structure, etc., etc.

IMAGE CREDIT: Autistic Creativity (December 9, 2017 post: https://www.facebook.com/Autisticcreativity/photos/a.1478031058956829/1595543040538963/?type=3&theater)

Music and Islamic newspapers at the metro station

So, on the way home yesterday I ended up with an Islamic Russian-language newspaper when I stopped alongside the wall in the metro corridor to watch this musician (short video below). I was fishing around in my bag and a man approached me and asked if everything was okay and if I was interested in this newspaper. I said I did not want it but he said he would give me one free of charge so that I can see what it is like, so I took it, why not. On the way home today from a Shabbat service the same man approached me and then recognized me and smiled. He asked me how life was and said something else that I did not quite make out. I did not really listen because I was not feeling comfortable. I very briefly responded to him and then said "do svidaniya" and left. Now I feel awkward and I do not know if he could discern that I am a foreigner. Will he and the other newspaper men be there again tomorrow?

* * *

The answer is yes. It's just that I was taking the bus before, not the metro. I shall have to work on my "I can't see you" skills.