Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Lying On My Back in the Snow at 11:30 ... A poem-song

12-20-2020 (A mini song-poem)

Lying on my back in the snow
at 11:30
Looking at the sky full of clouds
so bright they seem daylit
Whiteness reflecting
from above and below
As I am held
in a cocoon
of cold mist and sound
I feel beneath me
the firmness of the ground
Yet my body feels weightless
Feels weightless now




Saturday, June 20, 2020

prayer song-poem

Today’s edition of Silvie shyly singing poems into her phone while on a walk. An idea revisited from mid February ...

“Let go of the fear and hold onto the joy.
The Father’s arms are open wide
     for you.
So come and lay your head on His shoulder. Hold onto his hand and you won’t feel lost
     any longer.
Hold on to the joy and let go of the fear.
The Father is beckoning you to come near.”



(a poem with pictures)

Make a wish,
If you dare.
Send a sign of your heart
Off into the air.
Only after the flower fades
Is it that you see the fruit.
Only after the seed of hope is fallen
Does a brand-new life shoot forth.

May-18-2020


This Life Brings Me to Tears (a poem)

19 April 2020 ... my heart is churning so much



This life brings me to tears
At its most beautiful
At its most cruel
At its most joyful
At its most wearisome

This life brings me to tears
And the stains on my cheeks
Lead me to wonder
What is past that has been good
And what has passed that is else

This life brings me to tears
Brings a smile to my face
Brings a pang to my heart
Brings a doubt to my mind
Like I have caught sight of something
     in the corner of my eye that I cannot find

This life brings me to tears
It fills me with words
And it leaves me speechless
It holds me in its embrace
And it lets me plummet through the world

This life brings me to tears
And leaves me looking for someone's arms
And leaves me searching for a lost melody
And leaves me lost in a reverie
Looking for a realization
    that is blowing in the wind.


Thursday, April 30, 2020

A LETTER FOR MY BIRTHDAY, Apr-30-2020

Apr-30-2020


It’s my birthday.

It is the last day of another trip around the Sun. It is the last day of National Poetry Month and it is the last day of Autism Acceptance Month. I would like to say a few words about all this.

I AM GRATEFUL to G-d for all the blessings in my life, for my family, my security, my dear friends, my mentors, my opportunities…
I am grateful to all the people who have had an amazingly wonderful impact on this most recent circuit of mine through the solar system, for the relationships I have developed, for the sweetness and talents I have enjoyed…
I am grateful for ice cream and chocolate and crackers…
I am grateful for the song of wrens outside my window, the sound of the stream beside my house, the brightness of blossoming flowers and the rustling of wind in the trees...

I AM A POET. I see every aspect of life, every experience, and every art form as poetry. To call myself a poet is not a sign of hubris. It is a sign of vulnerability that I am willing to share with others the way I see myself and who I am at my core.

I AM AUTISTIC. I am grateful for the diagnosis I so unexpectedly received just two and a half years ago, one that validated me and so many of my experiences. I am grateful for the lessons this has opened to me and the deep communication it has allowed. I am grateful that I received this diagnosis at the YOUNG AGE of 19!—females with autism are usually overlooked for diagnosis and are underrepresented in clinical and popular knowledge, often either being diagnosed very late in life or never at all. I am grateful that I received my diagnosis in a healthy atmosphere! It was not a curse; it was an insight.

Recently I have been using these two tags in many of my posts: #AlsoIAmAutistic #NormalizeAutism. I am not putting them on “autism posts”. I am putting them on ORDINARY, general posts. I am a poet, I am a woman, I am a student of science … I am so many other other things … and, also, I am autistic. “Autism” is often seen as making someone totally “other”, as putting someone in a box that is conceptually so narrow and stifling and sad. Yes, I have differences from the typical allistic (non-autistic) person. But those differences do not eliminate our commonalities. Being autistic is an important part of my identity, but it is not all of it. I am also not identical to every autistic person in the universe! As with any large population, we autistics vary drastically! We have various interests and gifts and preferences and, yes, difficulties. I am not a paper cut-out. I AM A PERSON..

I want to see the day when it is not so rare an occurrence that the instance of me mentioning that I am autistic is met with understanding, acceptance and friendship rather than shock or incredulity. This is where normalizing autism comes in (This does NOT mean viewing everyone as autistic. It is NOT TRUE that “everyone is a little bit autistic”.). Normalizing autism means portraying autistic lives not as consisting of separate “autistic” moments and “human” moments, but as consisting completely and entirely of HUMAN moments. We are all human, in all the complexity and miraculousness that this entails.

Thank you.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for being.

May G-d be near to you and sustain you and show you the depth of love that He has for you in all your being.

Silvie Ḥannah Lundgren
Sparrow, Little Well and woodland creature

****
P.S. Please do NOT support Autism Speaks. They are an anti-autistic hate organization who spread fear and misinformation about autistic people, are money-grubbing, encourage the use of trauma-causing therapy techniques, and do little to benefit the actual lives of autistics.

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Любовные мысли

«Я тебя люблю»?..
Не знаю.
Ну, что такое «любовь»?
Это чувство?
Это действие?
Нет,
Она больше, чем
Кто-либо
На этой земле
Знает.

24.IV.2020

(original)
——————

Love-thoughts

“I love you” ... ?
I don’t know.
Well, what is love anyhow?
Is it a feeling?
Is it an action?
No,
She is greater than
Anyone
On this earth
Knows.

Apr-24-2020

(self-translation)
(I really enjoy it when my original ideas were Russian.)
——————————————



Friday, April 24, 2020

Bard Translation & Translatability Initiative, The Translation Symposium at Bard College (video conference), 24 April 2020
This was such a wonderful experience for which I am deeply grateful. I have never done a panel paper before! Here is my paper in case you are interested in reading it (it is not word-for-word what I said but is basically what I presented): “There is no native language: The perpetual question of “How would you say that?””
This made me feel so happy and enriched.

P.S. I am stodgily going with the classical rhetorical meaning of "beg the question". But I acknowledge that language morphs and expressions gain new meanings.

[I have a typo, at least one: schoolteacher is one word without a space.]

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

My Father the Blacksmith (2010 poem)

Quick study break: A friend asked me to dig up this poem I wrote in November 2010. (Not my absolute favorite, but it made quite the impression as a child.) Almost a decade ago, wow!


My Father the Blacksmith — by Silvie Lundgren

There he stood in front of his work
With his mallet and hammer,
And he swung one arm up
And then the other.
“Clang!-Clang!”
He worked on the metal day and night.

And on the bottom step of my cottage stairwell
I would stand and watch him,
And watch him,
I would watch him day and night,
Working with all his might.

And then one day,
When I went down
To the bottom step of my cottage stairwell,
I heard no “Clang!-Clang!”
Of the mallet and the hammer
(Going up in one hand,
And then the other).

The only sound to be heard
Was the moving of the water wheel.
“Whoosh!-Whoosh!”
And then I looked around the corner,
And what I saw I could not believe.

There lay my father The Blacksmith,
On the ground,
Mallet and hammer on the table still.
But there on the floor my father lay,
Never to swing the mallet and hammer
(One arm up
And then the other)
Again.

And then I knew
That I could never stand
On the bottom step of my cottage stairwell
And watch my father
The Blacksmith
Swing his mallet and hammer
Ever again.

“Clang!-Clang!-Clang!-Clang!”

And then the next day,
My father was buried.
Deep, deep under the ground,
To lie still and rest forever.

And I fell to tears in my mother’s lap,
For my father The Blacksmith
I could see no more.

And now,
All I remember:
The sound of digging up gravel
And laying my father — The Blacksmith — down.

__



[Original written November 2nd, 2010. Underwent modification exactly 3 years later for school.]

#AlsoIAmAutistic #NormalizeAutism

🧡

My real-life father is alive and well.

The sun yet shines ...


The sun yet shines ...


The sun yet shines,
Gets in my eyes ...
And filled with smiles,
I draw the blinds,
Seeing those
Spectacular shadows
That of the light remind.
______

I’m just being silly over here. I thought this set of marbled shadows looked beautiful, and it wasn’t meant to turn into a poem. (Pictures look better if you view them fully.)

My Father the Blacksmith (a 2010 poem)

Quick study break: A friend asked me to dig up this poem I wrote in November 2010. (Not my absolute favorite, but it made quite the impression as a child.) Almost a decade ago, wow!

My Father the Blacksmith — by Silvie Lundgren

There he stood in front of his work
With his mallet and hammer,
And he swung one arm up
And then the other.
“Clang!-Clang!”
He worked on the metal day and night.


And on the bottom step of my cottage stairwell
I would stand and watch him,
And watch him,
I would watch him day and night,
Working with all his might.

And then one day,
When I went down
To the bottom step of my cottage stairwell,
I heard no “Clang!-Clang!”
Of the mallet and the hammer
(Going up in one hand,
And then the other).

The only sound to be heard
Was the moving of the water wheel.
“Whoosh!-Whoosh!”
And then I looked around the corner,
And what I saw I could not believe.

There lay my father The Blacksmith,
On the ground,
Mallet and hammer on the table still.
But there on the floor my father lay,
Never to swing the mallet and hammer
(One arm up
And then the other)
Again.

And then I knew
That I could never stand
On the bottom step of my cottage stairwell
And watch my father
The Blacksmith
Swing his mallet and hammer
Ever again.

“Clang!-Clang!-Clang!-Clang!”

And then the next day,
My father was buried.
Deep, deep under the ground,
To lie still and rest forever.

And I fell to tears in my mother’s lap,
For my father The Blacksmith
I could see no more.

And now,
All I remember:
The sound of digging up gravel
And laying my father — The Blacksmith — down.



__
____

[Original written November 2nd, 2010. Underwent modification exactly 3 years later for school.]

#poetry

#creativity
#AlsoIAmAutistic #NormalizeAutism

🧡

My real-life father is alive and well.