Telling people that they sound like they “are losing their mind” or “are a crazy person” really is not considerate. The number of times people have told me things like this continues to grow. Those who do this most often are college students or other people near my age (and usually do it with regard to a question I ask, an offbeat joke I make, the way I laugh, some experience that I do not share, my being hyper, etc.). Asking me if I am high also belongs on the list of questions or suggestions that I wish people would not pose to me.

Maybe you mean that I am unusual or fun and are using this in a positive sense? Or maybe you are insulting me? And what if I were experiencing psychosis (psychosis, by the way, is a symptom, not a specific illness, and ‘insane’ is not a classification usually applied in professional settings)? What good use can tagging me with the terms “crazy” or “loony” truly serve? We all have delusional thoughts sometimes. You probably interact with many wonderful people who, unbeknownst to you, experience some level of psychosis due to a major mental health disorder (and those who noticeably experience it are equally wonderful). When you say these things, do you perhaps mean that you think I am peculiar? that you are annoyed with me? that you want to see if I am okay? that you do not understand me? that you are curious about the way that I am? Why not then say those things instead of resorting to the highly ambiguous “crazy” and related popular terms? Employing more direct language may prompt you to be more deliberate and allow clearer communication. If your thought process does ultimately contain something mean-spirited, then please tell it like you mean it or do not tell it at all.

I understand that my behavior often seems strange (to varying degrees) in comparison to that of your average acquaintance. I accept that I am seen as “quirky” by many who know me (just please do not use that in a derogatory way). I know that how I see and think does not match the average mode of perception. I know that I tend to have intense emotional reactions, misunderstand situations, be neurotic (I do mean neurotic), and struggle with things that may seem small. I am different, and I am wonderful. I am not wonderful merely for being different - that is not what I am saying. I am wonderful because I, as a human being, am an amazing creature. So are you. I am also “different”. -- And, not or. And, not because. And. -- I used to repeat that “everyone is ‘weird’, therefore everyone is ‘normal’.” We all have variations. Sometimes these variations are very common, and sometimes they stand out. Self-labelling as “weird” has probably been one of my defense mechanisms against the words of others. Though this could be healthy in some ways, I am wary of slipping into submitting to negative ideas and ignoring the fact that what people say does matter. People can choose what they say, but maybe I am not giving them the chance to see that they could choose a more preferable option.

When you say these things to me, I feel alienated, disparaged and saddened. I feel a need to radically change myself in order to be acceptable (adjusting one’s behavior to be appropriate for a situation is good, but attempting to effect radical change of self simply to fit in is unhealthy). I lose trust in you, and this affects my ability to relate to you. I want to relate to you.